garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
