You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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