yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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