after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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