he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
