i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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