ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
