When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
