if i can run in heels then i can drive
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
