My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
