I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
