I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm always down for nudity.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize