he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
