she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
