sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
