I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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