just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
