i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
