Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
