i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize