what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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