On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
