Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
