i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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