fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
