Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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