im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I had to cum in my sink.
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