I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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