a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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