Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
