if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
