My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize