So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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