A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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