In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
