Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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