Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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