Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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