Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The air taste purple.
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