I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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