glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
where am i from again
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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