So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
