I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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