I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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