that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
