Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
