Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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