apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
