We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
