is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
