Your mouth is God's brothel.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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