Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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