It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
