508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
