Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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