Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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