She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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