You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
