DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
