Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
