but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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