i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
