What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
