I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize