at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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